SEXUALITY, ILLNESS, AND HEALTH: ALCOHOLISM AND SEX – OUR SOCIETY’S EMPHASIS ON THE DRINKING/ SEXUALITY CONNECTION IS STRONG
We must recognize that our society’s emphasis on the drinking/ sexuality connection is strong. “A few drinks and I can really get it on,” was one wife’s report. She means that she experiences sufficient anxiety and insecurity that a chemical is needed to facilitate sexual interaction. The natural chemicals from our own brains are available to us if we will learn to relax, to share, to give a priority to intimacy so that we do not need “quick drugs” to depress us just enough that we can have sex. There is no human activity that is helped by drinking, and if you doubt that, you may be taking very early steps toward a drinking problem yourself. Drinking is ingesting small doses of a toxic substance that affects our nutrition, judgment, speech, perception, coordination, and ability to be truly intimate. It is one of our society’s most serious problems, and the emphasis on the war against drugs should include alcohol as one of the major enemies.
During the treatment program for the couples, all alcohol was prohibited. Every one of the couples found that sex improved once
they were free of their “habit.” Our brains are preprogrammed to “get high,” but our own bodies and brains provide the natural internal chemicals for that high. We seem to have a natural reflex, a joy response, and this joy response is blocked by alcohol, not enhanced by it. The couples found an immediate improvement in communication without alcohol, although at first some couples were awkward, actually in a type of mutual withdrawal state.
“It was like a first date. We just always used to have a drink or two before sex. It was kind of frightening at first, but we really rediscovered each other.” This wife spoke for other spouses who at first resisted the sanction against drinking and then learned what it was like to respond drug-free in a sexual relationship.
If you have a drinking problem, even if you suspect one, get help now. You will not be able to stop alone later, and the earlier you get the help, the less suffering for all concerned. If you are drinking to change how you feel, you have a drinking problem. If you are fighting this issue as you read this material, you probably have a problem with alcohol.
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