Very expensive clothes may not be the answer either even if they have an illustrious designer’s name emblazoned on the label. High prices and famous names are not necessarily a guarantee of good design and where clothes are concerned more often than not, unless the clothes are made from expensive fabrics like cashmere or silk, designer label clothes are mostly designed with the money-spending twenty-five to thirty-five age group in mind.

The answer lies in looking for quality of make, fabric and design. Window-shop first. Look around. See what is available in the major stores and quality establishments before making your selection. Go for quality allied to style and this way the clothes you choose should be good fashion, look good, flatter and, a nice point, last a long time. Good quality shows and goes only slowly out of fashion.

If you were known in your earlier years as something of a snappy dresser there is nothing wrong in being one still in your forties. The difference now is that you are not setting trends for the young set but for your contemporaries. (No matter how you think of yourself, to the young set you are just about middle-aged. So ignore the way they dress.)

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Alcohol in moderation is acceptable but during M-M a man can easily go overboard and become dependent on it for its relaxing effects, finding he can only go about life if he is supported by vodka and other spirits.

In Britain social drinking is generally considered as about five measures of spirits, wine or beer each day. In this context the official British measurement establishes that У2 pint of beer, 1 glass of wine, 1 glass of sherry and 1 tot of spirits each equals 1 unit of alcohol. More than five drinks a day and not only do you run the risk of alcohol dependence but also the risk of damaging your liver and probably incurring problems at home and at work. A man with a blotchy complexion, impeded speech, erratic action and poor memory is an example of a man who drinks.

For anyone trying to diet, alcohol can be a particular enemy. Not only is it high in unnecessary calories but it also undermines willpower. An alcoholic will lose his appetite but for most men the more they drink the more they can eat of carbohydrates and fatty foods.

To survive, go carefully with drink and try to have regular days when you drink little or nothing at all.

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Redundancy from work is also a shattering blow for a man around his forties, the experience of losing his job hard to bear. At this age he sees the loss as a personal accusation or criticism of his work ability and knows there are few opportunities open to him for re-employment. With a death knell ringing over his work potential, sexlife hardly matters.

If a man is what is termed by many therapists as ‘sex-lazy’ his sexlife can tail off permanently.

Many men whose libidos are low are often considered sex-lazy too. They see sex as a burden they can well do without. For them sex is the occasional and rare performance they feel they have to give as a token of the physical proof they know their partners expect of them or, if they come from a religious background, simply as an activity to be enjoyed exclusively as a means to further procreation. Perhaps through either ignorance or lack of adventure for these men sex is not quite what they thought it would be so never do they feel a particular urge rising in them anyway. Perhaps their partners are sex-lazy too and delighted in their man’s disinterest. In no time our sex-lazy man can retire from sex altogether, a retirement he looks forward to. The less he practises, the less likely he is to become sexually stimulated or active ever again.

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That is, getting up at night to pass water. Night-rising is one of the early warning signs of prostate problems so when a man becomes aware of just how often he is jumping out of bed at night to pass water he can, understandably, become alarmed. But most menopausal men need not worry. Unless he has caught an infection he is unlikely to be affected. Prostate problems if they do occur, affect men from their late fifties onwards.

The need to pass water once or more times at night comes simply from drinking too much late in the evening or last thing at night as a nightcap. Alcohol, tea or coffee. At M-M time most men increase their alcohol consumption in the evenings, especially wine. It is therapeutic, relaxing and makes them feel good. However, wine, like tea, has diuretic qualities which means it stimulates the production of urine and hence the need to urinate. It also causes dehydration because the body urinates more liquid than it takes in so thirst rages to make up for the loss. The answer is to control the amount you drink at night or adjust to the fact that night-rising is now part of life’s pattern.

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Confiding in a friend may be no more successful. He will probably point out how much better your life is than his and while baring the soul your anxieties, because they are impossible to explain logically, sound weak, unmasculine and silly. A man has to be very secure in his friendships to confide at such a time.

Talking to a doctor can be most help but he too will probably suggest you must pull yourself together and point out the innumerable advantages of your life. He may explain the symptoms of M-M and prescribe the short term solutions, tranquillizers and sleeping pills. He may recommend a psychiatrist if the depression is severe.

Of course everyone’s values change with the passage of time so at forty you no longer crave the same things you wanted at twenty. What seemed vital in terms of money, position, promotion and security still matters but the emphasis has changed, you may not want so much. It can seem that old values and new ones have little in common.

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If you do not find the idea of taking wood ash as described above appealing, pour hot water over them and brew in the same way you would make a pot of tea, straining through a fine sieve or cheesecloth. This liquid will also neutralise the gastric acid. Clay (white or yellow) dissolved in a little water is equally effective.

In the absence of any of these remedies, sipping fresh milk will give temporary relief. Uncooked oatflakes, eaten dry and well masticated, are known to serve the same purpose and should be preferred to the more harmful bicarbonate of soda. If, however, you want to normalise the secretion of the gastric juices permanently, you will have to modify your diet: keep off spicy food, abstain from white sugar and white flour products, and use less salt. Drinking tea made from centaury and Centaurium extract has also proved helpful.

If none of these remedies produces the desired effect, it may be that the heartburn is caused by dysfunction of the gallbladder or by intestinal worms. In these cases, the appropriate treatments would be required. Both of these complaints are dealt with in Part Two of this book.

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The excessive need for, or preoccupation with, sexual activity can be quite a problem but it is possible to do something about it. Drink an infusion of wormwood one day and of hops the next, continuing to do this regularly over a period of time.

Vegetables cooked with soda are also helpful; this method is used in prisons and certain other institutions as a preventative measure. However, this treatment is detrimental to health if resorted to for any length of time, although the degree of harm inflicted will depend upon the individual’s susceptibility.

Instead, therefore, it would be better to restrict one’s diet to food that is sexually less stimulating, and include plenty of lemon juice. Be sure to avoid eating eggs, oysters and celery.

Take cold showers and Kuhne treatments (see pages 436-8) for a calming effect.

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Elderly men who suddenly find themselves unable to pass water during the night will greatly benefit from a herbal steam bath. Make an infusion of camomile or any other herb, then add this to boiling water in a largish container. Place a narrow board over the container so that the patient can sit above the rising steam. Wrap a blanket or bath towel around the patient to retain the steam. This treatment will stimulate the flow of urine, bringing great relief, and the doctor will not have to be called out in the middle of the night to perform a catheterisation, a most unpleasant procedure. Should the retention of urine be caused by the prostate, further advice can be found under the entry on ‘Prostate Trouble’.

If you know someone who frequently suffers from heavy nose bleeds, or who is a ‘bleeder’, any advice will be welcome. What can you do if the bleeding will not stop because the normal clotting ability is impaired? This can be a serious problem unless you know that applying a piece of fresh raw chicken is the only natural remedy to stop the bleeding if it is caused by haemophilia. However, if it is only a temporary disturbance it can be effectively dealt with by means of a herb called tormentil.

Girls and women frequently suffer from venous congestions in the abdomen. Water treatment brings great relief, and it is recommended that a long sitz bath (hip bath) be taken once or twice a week to combat these disorders. For expectant mothers, this kind of treatment will also make confinement easier, thus benefiting the baby. Later on, it will help prevent difficulties arising during the menopause. The body responds to such regular care, and will give you far less trouble at these critical times than it would do otherwise.

A number of simple remedies exist for heartburn, a symptom of indigestion experienced as a burning sensation which may rise into the chest, even causing regurgitation of acid from the stomach into the gullet and mouth. All you need do first is to grate a potato as finely as possible, then put this in a cheesecloth and press out the juice. Dilute with warm water, one part juice to two or three parts water. Drink this juice every morning before breakfast, before lunch and at night before retiring. For the best results, prepare fresh each time.

If you still feel some discomfort, take a teaspoon of wood ash mixed in a little warm water after eating. This may produce the desired result. Just pour warm water over the ashes and drink them down. If you have no wood ash, common charcoal, preferably from limewood, can be crushed and mixed with a little water, porridge or other cereal. The charcoal is easier to swallow when prepared in this way and will serve to neutralise the stomach acid.

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